Anger, in simple words, is one’s reaction to feeling threatened. It starts from discomfort and leads to irritation, and at times it aggravates to violent rage. Anger is often mistaken for aggression. Terms such as hostility, aggression, and mood swing are used almost as a substitute for Anger, however there is a thin line of difference between them.
Hostility – While anger is the driving emotion, our own interpretation and judgment of situations result in Hostility. Hostility breeds and encourages
Aggression – Aggression is the behavior that has the tendency to harm people/property. It is the final outcome of the anger brewing inside us.
Mood Swing – It is a lingering emotional state which can range from irritation to violent expressions of anger. When the mood is at its peak, it completely overtakes every other emotion. Interestingly, the word ‘mood’ derives from the old English word ‘mod‘ which means ‘courage’.
Everybody has likely felt anger at one time or another. While particular individuals get angry more often than others and have regular, intense outbursts, others tend to bottle their feelings and then blow up or flare up without warning.
Anger is a basic human emotion and a natural response to situations beyond our control. There are a lot of things that may set off or contribute to anger, like the actions of another individual, an event, tension, expectations not being met, feeling hurt, contempt, humiliation, embarrassment, jealousy and sorrow.
Depending upon how it’s dealt with and expressed, anger may be favorable or damaging. It has favorable effects when angry feelings help you address an issue or subject with yourself or a different individual and correct the situation.
Handling anger positively enables you to put damaging emotions into perspective. When you wish to let off steam, feel frustrated or distressed, there are constructive methods to channel your anger like listening to music or going to gym. These are frequently utilized in treating anger disorders.
But, expressing anger in a negative way frequently leads to assorted unhealthy behaviors like violence and aggression. You might get out of control and threatening to other people. When anger interferes with your power to think or act clearly, this may cause you to receive unnecessary trouble. If anger cramps your personal relationships with friends and loved ones, leads to violence, makes trouble in your business life, or individuals fear your temper, you might be suffering from anger disorders and addressing anger becomes crucial.
There are many widespread beliefs and myths regarding anger. Let’s deconstruct these myths and know what the facts are.
Myth 1: My aggressive behavior gets me attention, respect, and obedience.
Fact: Power to influence comes from understanding someone and not by intimidating him. You may bully people into submission, but they won’t respect you and will eventually desert you if you can’t tolerate opposing viewpoints.
Myth 2: I cannot control my anger.
Fact: Just like any other emotion, anger also is a result of the situation you are in. Analyzing the situation from multiple possible viewpoints avoids mis-judgment and prevents anger.
Myth 3: Anger management is about learning to suppress your anger.
Fact: Anger should neither be suppressed nor vented out, rather it should be expressed in a non-violent manner and in constructive ways. This is what Anger Management teaches people to do.
Myth 4: Venting my anger out relaxes me. Holding it in isn’t healthy.Fact: There is a saying that holding on to anger is like holding on to red-hot coals in your palms. Anger should be drained out, but not by being aggressive. That will only lead to further confrontations
Life certainly is unpredictable. You never know what may happen to you with each fresh day, for better or for worse. We cope with all sorts of individuals and with all sorts of states of affairs. Nevertheless, one thing is for certain – we do face individuals and states of affairs that annoy or anger us. Therefore, it’s better to face the fact that we do become angry at times and to begin dealing with it for our own benefit.
Frequently in situations, we let individuals get to us. Make sure you evaluate if someone is purposefully attempting to make you angry. If this is the case, then there is all the more reason for you not to allow them get the gratification of driving you to your breaking point. Maintain your cool! On the other hand, if somebody gets on your nerves without meaning to do so, you need to control this sort of anger as well, or you might wind up injuring someone for no apparent fault of theirs. Whenever this is the case, a friendly chat might be the solution.
Once anger appears as a consequence of direct provocation, it’s commonly with an aim to get you into some kind of trouble. Don’t let that occur. As an alternative, inhale and exhale calmly, and you’ll clear your mind by doing so. The moment you fly into unrestrained rage, you’ve already lost the fight.
If you’re the object of another person’s anger, attempt and get yourself as well as him under the effect of composure, by speaking in a gentle tone. It’s the natural feeling to shout at the other person, but try to quash that; you might resolve the state of affairs in a matter of seconds this way.
If you discover yourself in a trying state of affairs where you can’t really display your anger, you may vent it into something innocuous like scrawling on a piece of paper. This works well particularly in places like formal encounters and business discussions. Physical exertion is a different good way to drop off some anger and get something constructive out of it in the deal.
Get in command of your anger and release it in doses when and if called for. If you’re in charge, you need to let the individual in question recognize that he’s angered you. This may be done in a number of ways, and different individuals need to be spoken to differently. Shouting is seldom ever the correct path, it only helps demolish relationships.
Lastly, when you’ve done something inappropriate yourself, do be truthful enough to admit the fact and to apologize where required – this far and away is the most crucial anger management technique.
There are only a couple of individuals who may truthfully say they’ve their anger in check. A lot of us do fly into rages when the correct strings are pulled by others or by situations that come up every now and then. You don’t have to have made a crucial error to register yourself in an anger management course or counseling. You need to do so prior to that happening. As it is sagely said, a stitch in time saves nine, and that’s only too real with anger management. Take charge of your anger prior to you causing some severe damage.
Employers frequently arrange seminars and guest speeches on anger management, as they recognize that when tempers are in check, there will be a better work environment in the company.
This is particularly true with jobs where deadlines are rigorous. Non-government organizations likewise arrange anger management classes every once in a while, most of which are free for all to go to. That’s a good place to begin if you’re looking to get that anger in check.
Discovering the correct anger management course:
The internet is a good place to start looking for the correct course in anger management. You’ll likewise find a number of e-books and articles on the matter, a lot of which might be free to download. Most organizations will have their ads published online, and you may well find an anger management class in your city merely by looking online. If that doesn’t work out, try the yellow pages. The correct anger management class may be just a telephone call away.
Why you’d wish to enroll in such a course:
Well, the first reason is that it’s going to help you live a more beneficial life. All the same, a few individuals would not want to accept that they require help, and the riskiest cases commonly fall into this class. It would be good for a trusted friend or family member to step in as counselor to such individuals.
Habitual abusers and recovering drug addicts are individuals who certainly need help with anger management. This is all the same not so simple at times. It’s a hard task to convince somebody they require help when they don’t wish to accept the fact.
It’s better to leave the counseling to the trained professional psychologists and counselors. It’s adequate if you as a loved one or friend, could convince the individual in question, to get together with a professional.
When an individual is enrolled in an anger management class, that’s one-half the battle won right there. In simply a couple of sessions he or she recognizes they are getting in command of their emotions and consequently in control of their lives, and that’s not a sense that anybody disfavors.
It’s a myth that anger management counseling is for the odd deranged person alone. Anger may and does affect everyone, and it’s true that it has a bigger effect on some individuals than on other people. All the same, if you don’t learn to check this emotion, matters may take a turn for the worse in any given day, and you may well discover it controlling you one day. It’s consequently good for anybody to take a lesson in anger management.
The opening move is to understand what anger is all about. Ask yourself the critical question of whether you present a threat to yourself or to those around you when your anger finds you. If your reply is yes, then you need to look for professional help from an anger management counselor sooner than later. Do so prior to you causing damage to your life and perhaps to somebody else’s likewise.
Realize the harmful effects anger may cause. It certainly is common to see individuals with unrestrained tempers. How frequently do we yell at the youngsters when they make errors, actual errors? It’s alarming to see individuals striking out at creatures because they made a mess in the front room.
After all, what else is to be anticipated from an untrained pet? The answer may never lie in violence, it does lie in conditioning. All the same, that might be veering away from our subject. In any event, if you recognize you act in such a way towards trivial events, you’d do well to get anger management counseling.
Unrestrained anger may spoil a perfectly great day at the slightest bit going wrong. When your anger irrupts, your muscles get tense, your facial gesture turns into a scowl, and this is broadly accompanied with verbal abuse. Not a very jolly sight you’ll agree. If you suspect you might have an anger issue, do try to talk to a close relative or good acquaintance about it.
Get feedback on your anger. Is it unrestrained? May it pose a threat to you and to other people? The role of this individual in your life may do you the utmost good.
Do take the feedback and utilize it to bring about a positive effect in your anger management. Of course, it would do no good if the only result of the person’s feedback would be that you get bad-tempered with them.
Counseling will help you face your issue instead of hide behind a cloud of anger. You’ll get to recognize your inner-self better, for better or worse. In any event, it will help you get to be more in tune with yourself and more at peace with yourself. The counseling procedure will sooner or later help you get in command of your emotional side, and consequently in control of your life likewise.